Nathan and I are adding the final touches of color to our watercolor sunsets when our online art class video is interrupted by a Facetime call from Europe. I glance at the clock, quickly calculating the time change, finding this to be an odd hour.
I can see it in his eyes the moment his face fills the screen. He’s not okay. I quickly send Nathan off to play and hunker down in the living room. As my youngest brother shares what’s on his mind, my eyes begin to sting with tears. I can feel the tension build in my jaw, stretching down my neck, slowly reaching my shoulders. He’s my scientist brother who is analytic and deeply skeptical, until he has scholarly journal review-type-proof. He is also, to his core, the definition of empathy and compassion. Right now, I can see this combination battling - his drive to understand the world from a scientific standpoint compounding his firsthand experiences with the challenge confronting the world. Data colliding not just with his friends, coworkers, neighbors, but with people he will never meet. I pinpoint what I first saw in his eyes: it’s the soul crushing weight of knowing what a virus run rampant can do. It’s oddly cathartic, crying with my brother part way around the world, because there’s nothing left to do but what we’re already doing. Stay at home. Work via distance. Cancel trips. Consider the health of the people you do and don’t know. Encourage others to do the same. Pray that our collective efforts will slow the trajectory. It’s also a sense of therapy - writing and just letting the tension flow.
4 Comments
ADRIENNE GILLESPIE
3/27/2020 05:59:31 am
It must be hard to have your brother so far from you at this point in world history. It must be hard for him, too, to be so far away from his family.
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3/27/2020 04:42:50 pm
What a riveting way you took us through the phone face time. It is a portrait of your brother as well as a poignant look at right now.
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Eugenia Kouts
3/27/2020 10:21:29 pm
Oh my heart aches for him being so far from you and for you being so far from your "baby" brother! I wish you both good health and may you soon find yourselves face-to-face without the need for technology!
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AuthorHeidi. Archives
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